My Best (Girl)Friend's Wedding

Good morning, Denver. I woke at 6am (8am my time) to a clear sunrise causing the skyscrapers to glow. It was going to be a beautiful day for a wedding. I spent an hour or so reading in bed because I knew nothing in town would be open so early. Then I started to get ready for the day. When I had packed my carry-on luggage I of course had to comply with TSA regulations against liquids in bottles lager than 3 oz, so I left all of my hair products at home. I fretted about how to style my hair, but there was no need. When you dry your hair in a dry climate, it actually does what you tell it to! Who knew?

Despite not being a fan of Starbucks, they are everywhere, including at my hotel, and they were open early. So I popped in for a latte and some sustenance. I was going to get a slice of pumpkin loaf, but then I saw what the three skinny women ahead of me were buying, and I got that instead. It's a good rule of thumb when one is trying to watch one's weight; eat what the skinny people eat.

And actually it was really good, satisfying, and nutritious. I've never seen this little protein pack at a Michigan Starbucks. Just pastries. Maybe we wouldn't be so fat if things like this were routinely offered.

I had a lot of time to kill before a friend of the groom was supposed to pick me up to go get the cakes and bring them to the wedding location, so I went down to 16th street (passing no fewer than 3 other Starbucks in just three blocks) and sat on a bench until Ross was open. Ross is like TJMaxx and other discount stores, except there is enough room on the racks so that you can actually see the clothes, rather than stuffing them so full that you can't slide the hangars around. There I bought two dresses, two shirts, a tablecloth, two dress shirts for Zach, and a shirt and coat for Calvin.

When Ben's friend Nicole picked me up we got the cakes and headed for the church. We were enlisted by the lovely ladies below to help prepare some of the food, so we washed, chopped, and skewered fruit for kabobs then manned our official posts. I was at the gift table and Nicole did name tags.

Here are a couple great ideas for weddings that I got from this one. Gifts: Use numbered stickers to match cards and gifts so that when cards inevitably get separated from gifts, the couple can match up the numbers. Then mark just cards with a "C" so they know that there is no separate gift it should go with. Favors: Tina and Ben had their engagement pictures (which were gorgeous) printed out and they wrote personal notes to every guest on the back of them. This made the event more personal for guests, let Tina and Ben say the nice things they wanted to say without having to make sure they spent tons of time with each guest at the reception (which helped them enjoy the dancing and fun better), and was a nice way to keep wedding crashers at bay; no favor? better watch that person to make sure he/she doesn't make off with a gift or a guest's purse, especially since the wedding was outdoors in not the best of neighborhoods.

Finally at about 3pm, the ceremony began. Tina looked absolutely gorgeous (as always) and was obviously so very happy. I cried as she walked up with her father, thinking about how this next step in my dear friend's life would change her life in many ways. She and Ben seem so very right for each other and I'm so happy they found one another.

The minister mentioned how both Tina and Ben had had good things and good relationships in their lives prior to meeting one another, but that they had waited through the good in order to get the best, God's intended mate. She also mentioned that Tina and Ben, who are both involved in ministry, had wanted the wedding to be about community, but that the community's role in their lives would now be changing.

They would have to choose each other and give each other their best rather than being at the beck and call of the communities they served, and that the community needed to support this. I thought that was a very important message for a couple marrying in their 30s who had had a decade or more of single life away from their parents in which they gave all their energy to their communities.

One of the nicest moments of the ceremony was when Ben and Tina washed one another's feet in a symbolic act of service to one another. For you non-Christian readers, this act was drawn from Christ's act of service toward his disciples during the Last Supper, the day before He was crucified. A husband and wife are to submit to one another and serve one another.

Tina and Ben started their marriage off with this beautiful picture of submission and I pray that it will follow them throughout their lives, reminding them that their happiness lies not in concerning themselves with their own needs, but with the needs of their spouse. And it's a lovely reminder to all of us who are married, as we do have a tendency to forget that and focus on ourselves to the detriment of our relationships.

It was great to see Tina and Ben so happy, laughing and sharing their infectious joy.

After the ceremony there was food and cake and drinks, of course. There were also lawn games like croquet, horseshoes, and bocce ball, which I thought was a nice touch for an outdoor wedding and reception. It was fun to watch all of the couple's beautiful friends in dresses and ties launching horseshoes and wielding mallets. We forget that all such games used to be played in dress clothes (which weren't considered dress clothes at all!) before we all started slouching around in cargo shorts and t-shirts.

And, of course, there was dancing. I am not a dancer. Now that I'm Baptist, I can use that as an excuse, but really I don't avoid dancing in public because of some moral problem but because I'm fairly self conscious about it. I always danced very well in choreographed numbers for musicals or jazz choir, but just freestyling is not my forte. I dance occasionally at home, but it's to big band music, not dance club music. So I stayed way off on the sidelines, hoping to go unnoticed. No such luck. Tina sniffed me out and pulled me onto the dance floor. And who can say no to a bride on her wedding day? I did try to sneak away a few times, but she always caught me. Oh well. Hopefully I'm not on YouTube right now doing something stupid. I did take off my name tag at that point to avoid recognition. And I wasn't the only one dragged in against her will. Tina's very straight laced mother was as well. And she was not happy that I snapped some photos of the momentous occasion. :)

As the event wound down, we sent the bride and groom off in a shower of rose petals.

And my dear friend Tina, the wild child of my youth, the world traveler, the compassionate, beautiful, and funny friend of my younger days, ran off with her groom to start a new chapter of life.

I hope he knows just how lucky he is.